Raising a Family + Working a job
+ Running a Business
Thank goodness, I don’t have to deal with loaded diapers anymore, just loaded backpacks. You asked if I am thriving or just surviving? I will answer yes to both. With my challenges, I seem to flow in and out of thriving and surviving all the time. I have been surviving the last two years in general with kids and family responsibility, and trying to start a business. Yet, I have been thriving in educating myself to new ways of thinking, about alternative health, about the power of our thoughts and minds, and about my own capabilities and potential. (Do you know how many webinars/TEDx talks/you tube videos there are online?) I am a middle-aged mom/entrepreneur/job worker/errand runner, etc. Many know how much time all that takes!
After I ranted about the stresses of my life one day, my sister
sent me books:
“The One Minute Mother” &
“The One Minute Father.”
The past two years I have been learning more about my son and his ADHD. I have always had a pretty good, easy life in general. ‘Had’ may be the key word. I made it through school and college without much drama – moved across the United States, met a great man and got married, then had a baby. Things changed a little as expected, then we had a second baby—more of the same. Then the elementary school years approached and life REALLY became more challenging: taking care of my daughter (and her hair, that’s another story), and my son (with ADHD), and trying to start a business – all this has stressed me out big time. I‘d rather work on a term paper, or a senior project… maybe. Oh, the joy, the sighs, the cries, the tantrums, the frustrations, the laughs, the repetition of previously mentioned, etcetera.
Through learning how to help my son, and hearing friends and family’s health concerns, and our national health statistics, I have been researching the negative effects of some medications and medical practices. I am contrasting that with many wonderful holistic, nutritional, and alternative health options to help me and mine reduce stress, be free from pain and disease, heal our emotional traumas, and relieve some of the ADHD symptoms my son has. I have also PRAYED for help. God sent me a great kid and I am thankful he has a happy demeanor in general and loves to read. He stays in one spot for extended periods of time!
Yet my husband and I worry about how impulsive he is, and about his trouble with boundaries; he’ll be anybody’s friend, especially if they have a technical device in hand. And it’s so hard to get him to do a task the first or second time. He likes to blurt out answers or words and just talks loud. I wonder if it’s because I always talked loud just to get his attention all those years?!?
I am trying SO many things for my son: regular meds from the Doctor (till I find something else), encouraging him to eat more meats, proteins, healthy fats (he is more satiated/stable with this). He loves physical pressure, hugs, bouncing on things (our couch can only take so much), so we got a mini trampoline. We even entered a neurofeedback study but discovered he was in the control group, so don’t know if that would’ve helped.
I met with an Integrative Doctor. She advised on nutrition and offered some tests. I got a $300 test that showed his acidity levels and helped explain a few things – the sharp pains he gets in arms, legs, and chest – crystalline structures from high levels of oxalic acid. The Doctor advised more probiotics, something to help him sleep better, and a high-quality vitamin, and I’m starting to see more stable behavior. I also tried reflexology/acupressure points. It really helped one day in church, but now he won’t let me do it. “It feels weird” he says. “Okay, fine,” I dramatically sigh.
I tried EFT (emotional freedom technique) with him, and myself and daughter. It’s supposed to help with any emotional or physical issues and has helped a little; we’re not consistent with it. Perhaps because of the frustration and impatience my husband and I have felt and shown, behavior and attitude has been a big issue for our kids. Most recently I used The Emotion Code. A lady did a session for my son focusing on sleep and handwriting trouble, and it seems to have helped him a little. The Emotion Code is a system for muscle testing the body for negative or traumatic events affecting you. I’m monitoring now and small, incremental differences are noticed: he sleeps a little better, behaves a tiny bit better… maybe that’s wishful thinking. Oh, and essential oils! That’s where I’ve invested the most because my whole family uses them! It helps aches and pains, and more. I’ve tried a couple of regimens for my son and am still working on it. My kids like oils, and boy does it help with our moods! My husband gives me a funny look and tells me I smell like an old woman. Ha! Some smell wonderful, however, and my daughter very strongly requested (demanded) that I get wild orange oil again.
Look at all those methods – you’d think I’m the one with ADD! After I ranted about the stresses of my life one day, my sister sent me books: “The One Minute Mother,” and “The One Minute Father.” I really like these! Our family is using them and both my kids like making goals, together & independently. Where were these books before? I have more books to read: Steven Covey’s is next, then Tony Robbins new book, but man, I’m sitting at the computer too long. I’ve got to get the laundry and dinner done. I’ll take a book for the down time to make use of every moment. Time is ticking by.
Tricia Fogle lives in Asheville and facilitates teambuilding events as the owner of Unboxedteambuilding.com and Lifeofenergyretreats.com. As a wife and mother of two kids, she is always researching and learning about health and wellness and can be contacted through her websites.