An Open Letter To My Daughter Gracelyn In The Era Of Donald Trump
| By Bruce Mulkey |
“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” –Shel SilversteinDear Gracelyn,
I write this letter to you so that you might better understand the tumultuous transformation that’s currently underway in our nation. For while your mother, Shonnie, and I are doing our best during your childhood to shelter you from adult concerns, I’m guessing that you sense a disturbance in the Force.
As you know, we have elected Donald Trump as our president. I believe Trump is unworthy of the office. He behaves like a spoiled schoolyard bully; he puts himself and his needs before all others; he refuses responsibility for his actions; he says hurtful things about women, people of color, those with disabilities, people from other countries, and anyone who disagrees with him. He even said it’s OK for someone to objectify his own daughter and speak about her in a disrespectful and demeaning manner.
In response to the mean-spirited actions of our president and some of our other so-called leaders, millions of Americans, including your mom Shonnie and me, are taking action -calling and writing our elected representatives, attending mass marches, organizing to elect worthy candidates, and more – to help create a more loving, fair, and eco-friendly society. And we are doing our best to discern how to be with you and how best to prepare you for life in times such as these.
First of all, we will strive to demonstrate love, partnership, sharing, and being good community members by how your mother and I live our lives. We’ll also do our best to get out of your way so that Gracelyn can be Gracelyn, so that you can dive headlong into life and live it exactly as you see fit. We will make it clear that you have our blessing whatever passions you follow – art, ballet, Wild Kratts, rock hound, yoga, the Moana movie, or music – and whatever work you later choose – brain surgeon, teacher, corporate CEO, dancer, parent, accountant, writer, surfer, or any other. Whatever your choices, we will support you and give you our steadfast love.
You are perfect exactly as you are. And, you possess all the inherent qualities you need to live a full and fulfilling life – authenticity, personal power, creativity, curiosity, courage, compassion, persistence, resilience, and a spirited sense of humor. Regardless of what’s going on around you, never doubt that you can create exactly the life you desire.
A new day is coming, sweet girl. As the author and activist Arundhati Roy once said, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” And you can help bring this day into being, by the way you are – with yourself, with others, with every living thing. I deeply respect who you are and what you’re about in the world, Gracelyn. Your innate wisdom, kindness, and sense of justice helps sustain my hope for the future. One final pledge: Please know deep in your heart that your mother and I will always love you, all ways, no matter what!
Bruce Mulkey is an essayist and author from Asheville. He has previously contributed to WNC Woman’s Y-chromosome issue and regularly contributes to The Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, and The Good Men Project. He is currently writing his memoir (A Tale of Two Fathers: The Memoir of One Man and His Two Daughters Born 42 Years Apart), playing handball, trail running with his wife, and doing his best to keep up with a high-spirited six-year-old on the meandering footpaths of the Appalachians.