Two and a half years ago, my husband and I were about to separate. Well, actually, I suggested that we “separate” and he heard it as “divorce.” Either way, the words got our attention. We were working the 12 steps in a program called, Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA). My husband and I would work on a step, then we would share what we’d done with another couple. We tended to work the steps more quickly than the other couple, so by the time we shared some of the work we’d done when we thought we were going to separate, we realized that we were no longer thinking along those lines. We had talked enough, shared enough, listened enough, cared enough and loved enough to be committed to our staying together and continue to work on improving our relationship through RCA. We decided not to throw in the towel.