| By Tina FireWolf |
It Could Get Worse!
I love that mantra – nothing snaps me back into the heart of gratitude quite like it. The word “get” somehow triggers my fearful mind that what is unfolding in front of me actually could change again, and for the worse! This mantra assists my mind in surrendering, screaming “Uncle!” and shifting instantly into the joy of counting my blessings.
It was only 105 degrees, a blessing as they were calling for 111! In less than a second my car temperature gauge went from “fine and dandy” to “all hell is breaking loose.” Rather ceremoniously, the AC shut off… and then the car died… gingerly rolling itself into a parking spot. I thought to myself, “Let the games begin.” As I was determined to not blow a fuse at what life was handing me on my plate this day. I was not going to allow my mind to tell me a tall tale about how “broken down my life was …” or some such saga. I peered under my car expecting to see it losing lifeblood all over the lot—I found nothing. Feeling like a baked potato wrapped in aluminum foil on a bubbling black tarmac frying pan, I reminded myself: “It could get worse.” Breathing deeply, I crawled out from under my car and into the shade of its hood. As I twisted to fit into the tiny spot of shade I noticed it. I had conveniently broken down right next to an auto repair shop! I walked over to talk to the manager, and got the OK to “roll her on in” … Blessings Abound!
The high heat continued to rule the desert in July. I decided that water of any flowing capacity would be a very welcomed treat so I loaded up the car and headed north to Sedona. Only one snafu, I was one of hundreds that had the same original idea. Having never not found a campsite in my 20+ years of camping I felt confident that all would turn out well. As I coasted past the “FULL” sign at the second of three campgrounds along the canyon I was beginning to wonder if I had run out of campground joojoo. Twilight was settling in, the third and final campground for the next 75 miles was fast approaching. As I slowed to a voyeuristic speed I saw it, glaring at me, like an unwelcomed visitor in ones tent—the word “FULL.” Something in my Core said, “Go and ask.” Amped up on adrenaline, frantically I knocked on the campground host’s RV. Like angels singing on the wind she said, “Oh, lucky for you someone just pulled out 15 minutes ago!” Birds singing, gentle breeze in the air, and it was at least 10 degrees cooler here… again, Blessings Abound!
After several hot, dry days in my tent I decided that a shower, a real mattress, and some deep silence were needed. Knowing somewhere in my car was a book listing all the Sanctuaries and Monasteries in the USA I began the arduous search. I needed a real respite from the heat, preferably one with AC! I called several places, taking notes while I cooled off in the balmy 103-degree shade and must have gotten messages mixed up between wiping my brow. I had found a Benedictine Monastery and thought that would also be a great place to take some photographs, so I made my reservation. When the first Monastery I contacted called me back—the one I actually sensed within myself was THE place I needed to go—I thanked them anyway and said I wouldn’t be coming.
After meticulously following my map and directions I pulled into what seemed like a vacant Monastery with tiny tan unassuming buildings that blended into the desert landscape. Knocking rather wildly in hopes of being “saved,” a tall slender man answered the door. He looked very surprised to see a person standing there at twilight (yeah, I have an affinity with twilight), so I offered, “Hi, I am Tina… I made it!”
“Oh, we weren’t expecting you—you had said you were heading further south.”
Feeling like I had just been pelted in the eye by a snowball, I stood paralyzed in disbelief. In that moment, I had no idea where I was. As I regained my ability to focus I realized rather quickly there wasn’t anything “Benedictine” about my surroundings. I felt a scream forming within myself saying “Where am I!?”
In a desperate attempt to act natural out of my mouth pops, “I have never arrived somewhere I didn’t know I was going before!”
Quickly, I realized I wasn’t making a stable first impression, and I breathed into my Core as I asked sheepishly, “Is there room at the Inn?” I hoped humor would land me a shower. What started out as a cluster of confusion ended in glorious three-day silent retreat. Complete with a sunny room and the world’s finest invention (beyond that of running water) air conditioning! I was blessed to be in comfort, with meals cooked for me, and in silent tender company—as I continued my Earth Walk into the calling of my Heart.
Life can be wild—raw—and downright sloppy. Especially if we allow the mind to conjure up story after fearful story of our lives being broken down, unsafe, and not where we are meant to be. When truly everything is perfect just as it unfolds. We are in fact safe in Love’s true hand—where all the blessings abound.
Tina FireWolf is a Facilitator of Remembering, combining her feral farm girl upbringing, and experiential background in Science & Leadership with her rockin’ multi-dimensional healing abilities. Tina is Igniting the World to elevate & navigate their human experience and stop their spiritual spin. She shares the HOW of Self Leadership & Personal Healing by facilitating the “Remembering” – Empowering us to sing our Souls free and lead Everyday Enlightened Lives. Purchase her Contemplative Photography Book Beneath the Chatter: the wise self awaits or her CD Medicine Within – Vocalizations to Free Your Soul at TinaFireWolf.com or connect for a free consultation call.