body language
by reeta wolfsohn, mcsw

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

How well do you know the woman who faces you from the mirror each day? How connected to her do you feel? How clearly do you see her? How intimate is your relationship with her?

Does she feel good about who she is, or does she wish her life were different? Is she a woman who knows what she wants and where she wants to go, or does she tend to hope for the best and to accept whatever happens? Is she a woman with a plan for her future, or one who is willing to go wherever life takes her? Is she the woman she wants to be, or is she simply the woman she has become?

Does she see the best of herself or the worst of herself in her reflection? Is she a woman who surrounds herself with mirrors, or one who avoids looking in them whenever possible?

Your mirror image reflects your lifetime of choices. Each wrinkle, line, mark or bulge represents a decision you made at some previous point in time. Your daily work, family, health, money and relationship choices have contributed to the life you live and to the body you live in.

Every body has a language all its own, one that is as unique as each of us. Our body language exposes our most personal thoughts and feelings without ever asking for our permission to do so.

The cut of our hair, the style of our clothes, the make-up (or absence of make-up) on our faces, the texture of our skin and the shape of our bodies declare our values, our priorities, our financial situation and even our level of self-esteem.
Our bodies tell whomever we meet in the course of our day, or in the course of our lifetimes, the importance we place on our hygiene, our looks, our health and our age. In so many ways they reveal our heredity, lifestyle, education, culture, philosophy and values.

The color of our hair tells whether we think blondes have more fun or gray is ok. Our faces reveal how long we have lived, how much time we have spent outdoors and whether we believe in or can afford plastic surgery. The size and the firmness of our breasts tells whether youth is on our side, gravity is working against us or children are (or were) a part of our lives. Our bellies, hips and thighs convey whether we have the time, energy or money to devote to exercise, and our hands convey how much manual labor we perform, whether we are married or unmarried and whether we choose or can afford to adorn them with jewels.

Our bodies are the outward manifestation of our inner most thoughts. In so many ways they announce to the world whether we have a sense of purpose, feel a sense of balance, are self-accepting or are self-disciplined. Anyone who wants to learn more about us can do so by listening to what our bodies tell them.

For better or for worse your reflection is ephemeral. If it captures the image of the woman you are and want to be, stay connected to the thoughts and behaviors that have helped you to achieve it, so that you may continue to maintain it.
However, if the reflection in your mirror today isn’t the one you want to see tomorrow - change it! Decide what kind of woman you want to face in the mirror and the type of body language you want her to speak. When you know who you want to be your internal self (mental and emotional self) can work in harmony with your external (physical) self to create harmony, health and wholeness that speak the body language of inner peace and external acceptance.

“Nobody needs to prove to anybody what they’re worthy of, just the person that they look at in the mirror. That’s the only person you need to answer to.” ~Picabo Street

Reeta Wolfsohn is the founder of the Femonomics Institute [femonomics.com]. She is a therapist, author, and motivational speaker, who has appeared on the “TODAY” Show and been written about in numerous national publications. The Femonomics Institute provides individual counseling, support groups, products and programs that help women to create long term emotional stability and financial security. [828-658-1919; reeta@femonomics.com]