di ucci: excavating for G.O.L.D.
by kelle olwyler

Have you ever had the experience of being in a group of people, and when one particular person spoke, you couldn’t help but sit up and take notice? That’s what I did the first time I was in a gathering with Di Ucci, a woman who is changing how aging women feel about themselves and the inevitable road they must travel.

As I got to know her, I discovered she was a woman with many talents, and one of her best is certainly helping women be comfortable in their own skins.  Writer, dancer, mother and wife, skilled mediator and healer, Di has faced first-hand the power of a culture that demands that women abandon their inherent wisdom regarding the natural aging process.

“I grew up in a family with two very attractive sisters and a mother who was so beautiful, she was often compared to Sophia Loren.” Starting at age 10, Di became aware that how her body was shaped, how she looked and wore her hair was extremely important to her mother.  “She often quoted to me a borrowed phrase, ‘Looking good is the best revenge.’  I consider myself a borderline woman,” explains Di, “a woman who grew up with role models who taught me how to open certain doors by using culturally accepted “feminine power,” making it harder for me to leave this form of getting what I wanted behind. A woman who hasn’t used her femininity in this way typically won’t face the same struggle as she ages.”

Di found she was at odds with herself much of the time, both wanting male attention and simultaneously not wanting to give in to that need. “Because of my upbringing, it was very important to me to be noticed by men.  And to do so, I had to look good.”
It wasn’t until graduate school that her own deeper questions about awareness beyond the skin were catalyzed.   As her spirit spoke louder and more clearly to her, the battle raged.  “Then, I realized I wanted to go with the voice of Spirit.”  So Di made a conscious decision to externalize what was on the inside, and the makeup, tight fitting clothes and “always-looking-good” went by the wayside.

At 52, she has much to share about her experience of “soul excavation “ and is dedicated to G.O.L.D. (Growing Old with Love and Dignity), a one-day workshop she offers to women who are transitioning into re-embracing themselves in the aging process. “It is so important,” says Di, “to appreciate what life has been about.   At the same time, as skin starts to wrinkle and crinkle, and muscles lose some of their strength and flexibility, it is even more important to say goodbye to what was and welcome in what is becoming.”   

The great difficulty is that there isn’t much outside support for this choice in our culture. “For borderline women like myself, the struggle, the climb, becomes more challenging as we fight to change what our early role models taught us.”  Being hammered by a multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry doesn’t help.  “The only way to move beyond it is to help each other find our most authentic voice and respond to that.”

That’s why Di loves bringing women together and offering them the opportunity to explore the path back to themselves, “... to see soft tummies, sagging breasts, wrinkles on their faces as roads they’ve traveled, rather than something to be tightened, changed, or kept hidden.”

Yet, Di is not a purist, thank goodness!  “I’ll occasionally put on a light sheen of blush, mascara or lip gloss, but now I wear my insides out on my face, and that’s what’s made the difference in being able to face the world with authentic power and deep humanity.”   Di Ucci lives in Brevard with her husband Mark and her two children, Keegan and Gwen.  She can be contacted by email at fortenucci@citcom.net.

Kelle Olwyler is President of Kel Bergan Consulting. She can be emailed at kelle@kelbergan.com.