a paradoxical journey
by kelle olwyler

“Paradox: a statement or proposition seemingly contradictory or absurd, and yet explicable as expressing a truth.” Webster’s Dictionary.

I have made it my duty to make people aware of the paradoxes that surround them in their every day lives. “Why?” someone recently asked me. That’s easy . . . because without paradox, it would indeed be a dreary world. Paradox is a rich and juicy concept that hits us on an emotional level because it has the capacity to provoke so many responses from us: laughter, confusion, surprise, frustration…and often, all at the same time.

The concept of paradox is so complex, it can be hard to get our minds around it. Paradoxes are everywhere, yet we tend to ignore them. But they are just too much fun, and there is so much inherent understanding about Life intricately imbedded within them to ignore them. It would be like walking around with one eye closed . . . you’d miss a lot.

But how does one dive into the paradoxical oceans that make up our world? We’ve never been given the map for finding the treasures they hold. They don’t teach us about them in schools. And it takes time to find the hidden tunnels they travel in. There are a few tricks to discovering their depths.

The first is to simply acknowledge that paradox exists. Have you ever stopped to think about how the same heat that hardens an egg melts butter? Or that plants require water to live, yet over-watered, they will drown? Or that the household hammer contains a head for hammering nails and a claw for pulling them out? Or that the every day pencil can both write words and erase them?

Secondly, paradoxes require language to best express themselves in our world, so pay attention to language. “Tough love,” “silent scream,” “terribly happy,” “bureaucratic efficiency,” and “investor’s confidence” are all examples of a paradoxical truth expressed through language.

Oxymoron: A combination of apparently contradictory words or phrases which describe a “paradoxical truth.”

Oxymorons are a good way to understand the phenomena of paradox, and in particular, how people themselves are so seemingly contradictory. The following are oxymorons people have chosen to express their personal paradoxes. Can you think of anyone you know who could be described by using any of these oxymorons?

Hesitant Risk-Taker Attila the Nun
I’ll-Do-It-My-Way Conformist
Well-Organized Slob
Passionate Robot
Assertive Doormat
Hard-Working Dreamer
Lazy Do-It-All
Competent Self-Doubter
Ambitious Slowpoke

Each one of these oxymorons tells you quite a lot about the person when you stop to think about them. The “Hesitant Risk-Taker” above is a successful entrepreneur who describes herself as taking risks all the time in her business, yet each one was taken with careful consideration. The “Assertive Doormat” explains how he is a dynamo at work, but his kids have him wrapped around their little fingers and “walk all over him.”

Now that you’ve been introduced to paradox, you’ll begin to notice it everywhere. You’ll become a veritable paradox stalker, a junkie to the emotions it stirs in you. But I must warn you that most of all, you’ll have some serious fun.

Kelle Olwyler is President of Kel Bergan Consulting, a management consulting and executive coaching company specializing in helping professionals, executives and teams get results that solve problems and support transformation. She can be emailed at kolwyler@bellsouth.net.